| 11/17/2005 (MySpace) 10/7/2006 4:48 PM (MySpace) |
| And they’re probably all sitting over there laughing at the fact that I just want to know the truth. I don’t care if it’s bad news, just tell me the news. I have got to stop asking all the wrong questions though. I hate that feeling when I don’t know what to say because all the things I can think of are wrong. Those are the times when I need to just shut my mouth. It’s like I said in my last blog, “It’d be easier if she was being mean.” It’s confusing though when someone calls you and just wants to talk. I love that feeling of having someone interested in calling me but this is not the right context. She doesn’t mean it like that. How does she mean it? She’s just now finally being the person I wanted her to be. Feels a little like a slap in the face. So what am I supposed to say though? I can’t ask her personal questions. I can’t whine about being a jilted lover. What can I say? I can tell you what I want to say, but she doesn’t deserve that. If she’s the one who wanted the split then she should have to deal with the repurcussions, be they good or bad. But I can’t do that. It won’t make a difference to her and it’ll make me feel even worse. I could go in circles like this for two months (and believe me, I have), but it’s not gonna get me anywhere. Anyways, who cares right? “I don’t give a FUCK!” she says. I swear it’s just cuz I have nothing else to put my mind on. Once I find that one thing, be it Work, School, Karate, Friends or my next GF, I’ll be totally over it. I just don’t have anything to work on right now. No potential endeavors to divert all of my efforts to. Well maybe one or two but those are still in the development process. Gosh, I’m dumb sometimes. Well, I need to go get drunk and play some Video Games and try not to hope that she’ll call me later. Peace out. Comments 10-7-06: I can’t really remember what happened that night. I think I called to talk to her and hse had friend’s over. I asked if there was another guy there and she ridiculed me. I was right though about being occupied with something that made me get over her. The potential endeavors… Can’t really remember what they were. Oh well. |
