10/14/2006 2:09 AM5/21/2006 For reasons I cannot understand, I am a pessimist.  I don’t mean to be this way, but I am.  No matter what’s going on in my life, I feel like I always “have to” focus on the negative aspects of things.  I’ve been told this a couple of times and I’ve seen… Read more

10/14/2006 2:00:00 AM (MySpace)4/13/2006 (MySpace)     I’ve been in a pretty rotten mood recently.  I walk down the street or ride the bus just waiting for someone to say something to me.  I don’t really worry about pissing people off too much anymore.  I feel like I have all this confidence built up, but for… Read more

10/12/2006 2:36:00 PM (MySpace)2/22/2006 (MySpace) It’s been a long time since I’ve put words here.  At least it feels like it.  I always have ideas for posts but then I second-guess myself and worry about who will read it or how they will take it.  I’m probably going to make this a pretty honest post… Read more

12/18/2005 (MySpace)10/12/2006 2:22 PM (MySpace) I need to find a little bit of swagger.  I know I have it in me somewhere.  Someone recently told me that my self-deprecating humor is not all that attractive.  Up until recently I thought I was only capable of two extremes, either dead-silent, shy and nervous or arrogant, obnoxious… Read more

11/17/2005 (MySpace)10/12/2006 2:19 PM (MySpace) Sometimes I think I talk too much.  I don’t necessarily say the wrong thing, it’s more that I say whatever is on my mind.  Be it good or bad.  That’s the main reason I changed a lot of my blogs to Private.  Kind of filtering myself I guess.  Too many… Read more

11/21/2005 (MySpace)10/7/2006 5:13 PM (MySpace) I am the only voice I hear inside my head.  When I think deep thoughts, they usually center around myself and various people in my life.  Sometimes I even think I’m the only person in this world that matters.  Like the Earth was put here for me, and me alone. … Read more

11/17/2005 (MySpace)10/7/2006 4:48 PM (MySpace) And they’re probably all sitting over there laughing at the fact that I just want to know the truth.  I don’t care if it’s bad news, just tell me the news.  I have got to stop asking all the wrong questions though.  I hate that feeling when I don’t know… Read more

11/17/2005 (MySpace)10/7/2006 4:41 PM (MySpace) Why is it so hard to deal with rejection?  I don’t know.  It would be so much easier if she was being mean about it.  But it’s just, “Oops, sorry for ya.”  At least if she had cheated on me I could rant and rave like a lunatic but that’s… Read more